Manifesto

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Comments

  1. Love what you’re doing and considered buying your “black-paper” LIT. I came to a realization that if I am going to do anything for myself, the first step is to quit my soul sucking, energy-sapping, inspiration-killing, depression-inducing job, which renders me zombie-like at the end of each day. My only question is how am I going to support myself, and my kids for that matter while pursuing and building my life’s work. I have read several articles, blogs, papers, etc… like yours, however none address that issue, not even with simple suggestions, or strategies to help people like me get by in the early stges. I don’t have a large savings account, or trust fund to supplement me through the building phase.

    • Morale of the story is I, like many other feel Stuck, and cannot see a way to get unstuck without incurring crazy debt, and putting the family ion the poor house.

      • Bryan Ward says:

        That is a great question, Patrick. I may do a future blog post or report on that, as you are certainly not alone. You should not feel like you have to choose between pursuing something you are passionate about and attending to your family’s financial needs. The third way is about finding the “both/and” solution. Commit to spending regular time building your “escape hatch.” You feel now like you do not have the energy, but the act of actually doing something about your unhappiness and building a better future will give you more energy and heart then you can imagine.

      • There is strength in incurring the soul sucking job, especially as a provider for the family. That is by definition, high strength and high love. Carry that sting with pride.

    • I quit my soul sucking job, worked three part time gigs, went to school full time, and then repeated the process 8 years later to get a second degree. I still did the school band concerts, coached received league sports, paid the bills, cut the grass, read the bed time stories, and gradated with honors. There is boldness in deciding to act. I slept 2 to 3 hours a night for 3 years. Didn’t kill me as much as indecision did.

  2. Lee Marcus says:

    New to the blog- I am afraid that I am level 2.
    I am the nice guy. My wife is yearning for me to get Mad and break out of our situation.
    Lee

    • Lee…..

      I recommend reading “No More Mr. Nice Guy”. I apologize, I forgot the name of the Author.

      I used to think by not being the “nice guy” meant I had to be the opposite….the @$$hole.

      Good news is thats a false belief. Dr. Glover, I just remembered the authors last name, lays out the law in a bulleted check box orientation. Like me, you may find yourself checking a lot of the boxes marked nice guy.

      Trust this complete stranger, haha, when I say THEIR IS A HEALTHY MEDIUM. Its obtained by doing /working steps every.single.day!

      Reap and Sow. Side note I learned the long and arduous hard way we cannot change anyone. We cannot spark change in anyone by our actions. Its an organic process. We as men put work in, reap, and pray, meditate…fingers crossed it changes, sow, the heart of our spouses.

      It may not be the case.

      We may not see change in another. We can only manifest change within ourselves and the way we view our world.

      Secret Sauce: Everyday and in almost every decision I ask myself this, “how would the man I aspire to be respond, decide(INSERT ACTION)” This moves us men outside the containers of our minds and towards the MEN WE WERE BORN TO BE.

      Also keep moving…. left foot then right….repeat.

      Goodluck Brother

      Sincerely,

      A fellow man deep in the muck

  3. Im really loving your writing Bryan. Im one of many guys who resonate with what you are saying and agree that its time for the Third Way to become part of our everyday conversation about business, life and marriage. Too many blokes are buying into the denial and “cone of silence” that surrounds the concept of living life on your own terms. Keep up the good work mate!

  4. I’m the guy that wants the challenge of growing a business, but I don’t yet know what my product/creation is. Should I teach from my life’s experience, a creation I put together in my garage on the weekends, or a service that eventually dominates my time, until it can produce more than my full time job. I’m like Patrick above, not wanting to sink financially while trying to succeed financially. What should I be peddling from my bag? How do I figure that out?

  5. Hello, I´ve been looking for tools and knowledge for finding realization in life, I guess every one of us at one point in life, asks the same question… am I happy the way I´m living my life now?… am I living the real purpose of my life?… and among many papers and articles this LIT paper puts the core concepts together in a very simple way and steps for anyone to explore. I will also recommend this book, which also speaks about finding your ONE THING. I hope it helps in any way to any one out there… By the way, I´m still looking and working to find that ONE THING…

    FINDING YOUR ELEMENT – How to discover your talents and passions and transform your life
    By Ken Robinson
    http://sirkenrobinson.com/finding-your-element/

    All the best!!!!

    Manuel

  6. Hello Bryan,
    I’ve purchased your LIT pdf. Fortunately my 2 “Things” are already underway & I’ve been supported by the Universe, in that everything I need to embark on my creative journey has been supplied in abundance. I’m in my late 40’s, have always had a penchant for art in some form or another, it’s “In the blood” as it were. Financial freedom came after many failed, so I thought, attempts at careers, each one a faint promise of hope in achieving success. Little did I know all those numerous chances were learning lessons in following paths that, winding and backtracking led me to where I am now. Having successfully raised a daughter on my own, from the time I was awarded Full Custody on her 8th Birthday, to see her graduate from University, travel to her dream location & fulfill her “Things”.
    When my 1st marriage to my daughters mother ended, the circumstances were unbearable at that time. Coming from a broken home myself, the shame of failing at life almost ended me. The things that happened, drove me to the very edge of suicide. I’m glad I didn’t give in, all I lived for was my daughter, her future depended on me being here. After a life of struggles, challenges, fighting the good fight to be a good dad, while doing shiftwork, i scraped & saved for her tuition & now, after striving for better career options finally came to fruition. I was able to pay off all her financial commitments. Now is the time I get to “Play”, I’ve read in several publications that one should seek a way to get paid for “Playing”. For example, Actors-Sports Figures-Musicians-etc., make a livelihood “Playing”. Doing their “Thing”. My endeavors are now imbued with the power of new conviction after purchasing your PDF-“LIT”. It crystallized what my inner voice tried to whisper to me. Your words came at the perfect time, to temper my resilience & make me believe I can do my “Things” with vigor and confidence.
    Thank You Bryan,
    Sincerely, Justin

  7. It looks like you don’t have help for me, a single man with no kids…

    • Hi Ray,

      I would recommend Tim Ferris’s work. He is a single man and has tackled a lot of psychology, life hacks, mind/body improvements, etc.

      What Bryan is tackling is a very unique set of circumstances faced by married men with kids (and a declining hormone situation for most of us). You can trust me, I’ve been both single without kids and married with kids. 🙂 It’s different. In fact, it’s much harder being married with kids (or divorced with kids). So, whatever you’re facing now, it gets worse. I don’t say that to discourage you, but to help you look at your current circumstances and maybe see them in a new light…as something you can handle. BTW, if you get your shit together now, your later life may not be as hard. Focus on your professional life and your financial life! If you get that handled some of the later stuff won’t feel so heavy, because you won’t have to try and carry the weight of financial stress along with everything else.

      So, don’t see it as this site “not being able to help you”, instead find that resource or resources that are targeted at you. They are out there….

      Best of luck!

  8. Maaher Sayeed says:

    Bryan…. I came across your article on facebook and unusually clicked on it. I must say you truly got me intrigued and spoke directly to me and my situation. I too walked a similar path and got lit and wrote a self improvement book and blog. I wish you the best …. just wanted to say I truly admire what you are doing with the lesson you have learned…..sharing!!!!

  9. Henry Snider says:

    I spent several years working as a firefighter in Alabama in a department that sucked you dry. 7 years I sat and withered away with no life in me. One day I just reached a point where I couldn’t take it any more. I needed to live. So I went to a different department. It was better, but I had lit a fire within me that I could not seem to quench. So I began working on a Masters Degree. That helped, but it still wasn’t what I was looking for. So I’m changing it up again. I took a job in Bahrain. In two months, my wife and 3 sons will be moving to the kingdom of Bahrain. On top of that, I will be starting a PhD program in July. It feels good to be LIVING again. We only get one shot at life, why not give it all we have?

    I would rather be ashes than dust!
    I would rather that my spark should burn out
    in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.
    I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom
    of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.
    The function of man is to live, not to exist.
    I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
    I shall use my time.
    -Jack London

  10. Abdullah Mikail MacKay says:

    SEAL team mottos…visceral and motivational;

    “Embrace the Suck”

    “The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday”

    When I asked SEALS about hell week and what it was like I got one word answers;

    “Cold” “Tired” “Hungry”

    I never met a SEAL I couldn’t outrun…I ran a 4:17 mile in the USN. But I was not S,AL I was in SWSE, Strategic Weapons Systems Electronics, I was a Missile Technician on a nuclear submarine, and I did not have to endure the 102 hour “Hell Week” awake with only 4 to 5 hours of sleep…I was on a Submarine and once worked 54-1/2 hours straight with no sleep, standing watch, doing quals, studying, beginning the cycle again…all I did was drink coffee and “Embrace the Suck.”

    By the middle of the week I was “hot runner” ahead on quals, supporting the watch rotation, and getting ready for my next check out with a senior submariner.

    Your state in life is not that of being a victim, it is thinking you are a victim stuck “soul sucking, energy-sapping, inspiration-killing, depression-inducing job, which renders me zombie-like at the end of each day.”

    To coin a term from Schwarzenegger in my own phrase,

    “Suck it up “girly man.”

    Oh, and remember to live NOW, and recall when you lived THEN.

    I am a disabled veteran, so, in college I worked out trying to strengthen myself and recover from it…I became an Amateur Middle Weight Champion to prove to myself I still had “fire”.

    As a Sophomore in college, I stayed two months in the Indonesian jungle, but also, now, during my “soul sucking job,” I took the family on vacation to visit Indonesia, took my mother in law to a five star hotel at Anyer Beach Indonesia for her 70th birthday, put almost the whole extended family up for three days there in the Presidential Suite, and one morning I kayaked out into the open sea of Java on that black water and thought as I looked back at the islands and up at the blue sky,

    “I have finally made it.”

    I brought that kayak back to the beach surfing a wave that scooted me right onto the sand in front of the hotel…the kayak staff asked if I was professional…

    “First time.”

    Was all I said…good fortune favors the brave.
    In 2006 I coproduced a movie that has been seen all over the world, have been featured on television in Istanbul Turkey, Central Europe, and the latest was on the big screen and television broadcast in Tehran, Iran December 17 to 23rd 2017.

    I prayed the EID prayer in Istaqlal Masjid with 120,000 worshippers and on my exit of that grand mosque so pressed into the throng as I walked down an entire flight of white marble steps my feet hardly touched the ground and we spilled out into the streets of Jakarta like water on a stone.

    Light your own fire in your heart wherever you are, or you will die with cold ash in it…never fear that you will fail, expect it and have plan B and C ready.

    Be tenacious. Be wild. Be bold. Be brave. Be in Love. Be in Anger. Be in Pain. But Embrace The Suck, and Never Quit!

    Abdullah Mikail MacKay

    Motivational Mottos:

    SEALs “The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday”, “It Pays to be a Winner”, ”
    Marine Corps ” Celer, Silens, Mortalis”; (“Swift, Silent, Deadly”)
    Army Rangers “Sua Sponte” (Of their own accord), Rangers Lead The Way
    Air Force Special Forces “Any Time Any Place”

    And then there is my Motto:
    “Pro patria, pro honore fidelity sed primus Deum”
    (For Country, For Honor, Fidelity, but foremost for God.”)

    • Michael J Mitchell SFC USA Ret. RN BSN says:

      God!!! Thank You, You hit the nail on the head! I have been looking at these post for a couple of weeks getting depressed.
      I retired U.S.Army at 20 year. Changed career paths thinking I would be happier. Discovered my mentor who help me find my way after the Army. Started my second career and loved what I was doing and never looked back. And yes I work for SOUL SUCKING EMPLOYER. Now semi retired traveling, working some were I’m appreciated. Abdullah Mikial Mac Kay is right “Suck it up Girly Man” Quit whinnying about your situation, CHANGE IT!

  11. Theophilus Batongbacal says:

    How To Get Out Of Debt Without Feeling Like A Poor Person by Bryan Ward

    Patrick, the above article is in this website. Your soul sucking job and Bryan’s debt have similarities. Your job, like his debt that he climbed out of is a pit that you can climb out of. Have a read and then act. If still not inspired enough, read this one too.

    How To Get Your Fire Back.

    All the best on your way up and out of the pit.

  12. My teachers were right. If you applied yourself, you could be amazing.

    I never did. Skated by on being “good enough.”

    Now i’m 54. Wife. Son. We rent. I never lived up to my potential.

    If it wouldn’t ruin their lives, I’d off myself.

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