After last week’s “When lions eat your lambs” post, a reader wrote me this:
“Yes, yes and yes. I’ve had this exact conversation with my wife recently. She doesn’t get it. I have a good paying job, just finished my MBA, and am poised to climb that next rung in the corporate ladder. Why on earth would I leave that all behind to go do whatever it is that I want to do. You should be happy with your family, house, job etc.
You should put together a document on how to sell or engage your wife and family on the dream. Because they arnt going to get it straight away. And I think there could be some process you could go through to bring them on board. Otherwise it’s like trying to paddle your canoe in a new direction only to find the other person in the canoe has their ore straight down in the water stopping any progress.”
Damn good question.
Before you can sell your wife on the dream, you must first consider the reason for her resistance.
The answer, of course, is fear.
The fear that you are more focused on escaping FROM a job you hate than working TOWARDS a dream you love.
The fear that this new “freedom” for you translates to MORE WORK and stress for her.
The fear that you will tire of your new venture when the going gets tough and QUIT… leaving you more strapped and discouraged than when you started.
The First Way Man’s approach to that fear is to steamroll it and make the leap… wife’s support be damned.
The Second Way Man’s approach is to grovel before her fear… to plead and beg for buy-in.
The Third Way Man does not steamroll. Neither does he grovel.
He does not “ask” for his wife’s blessing or belief but rather WORKS TO CREATE THE CONDITIONS that compel her free “yes.”
And by “work to create the conditions,” I mean you literally get to work putting flesh on the bones of your dream TOMORROW, before changing a single thing in your family’s life.
You become the First Mover: You sacrifice first, hardest, deepest, longest.
You do NOT ask her to “take it on faith.”
You demonstrate the viability of your plan and the depth of your work ethic BEFORE asking her to risk time, money and heart on your dream.
In other words… don’t quit your day job.
Wake up an hour earlier and start building your list. Scrape together an hour each evening to build your website.
Carve out an hour a day to bang out proof of concept and that first holy sale.
“But Bryan! I want to be free NOW! Burn the ships, right?!”
A wise man once told me “those who ‘burn the ships’ often starve on the beach.”
Besides, it’s not “the courage to burn” that you need, gratifying as it would feel.
What you need is the courage to BUILD… to create your kingdom one bold, decisive day at a time.
When I started my first online business I was working as a mental health counselor making $1,800 a month. I woke up at 5 a.m. every damn day to get my business off the ground. I didn’t quit my day job until the net profit from my online business well exceeded my day job salary.
You don’t need to quit your current thing to start your next thing. You can start immediately, the second you finish reading.
Remember: Time vs Courage.
The world tells you it takes tremendous TIME to build something.
That may be true for the limp-alongs. For those who build incrementally, one brick at a time, with caution and fear. That man will need all the time in the world. More than he has.
But you know better.
You know that courage collapses time.
You don’t need to double your work week.
You don’t need your wife to take extra shifts or get a second job.
You don’t need to remortgage the house.
All you need is one hour of courage a day.
So get in the shit and show her the light.